Alone is not the same thing as lonely. Lonely is when you are alone and not wanting to be so. Alone is simply being solitary and in the company of ones own self. To be lonely is to be pitied, but to be alone is to be envied in this day and age of the constant and ever present stimulation that has become the norm.
There are times when I will find myself in my home in complete silence with the exception of the ticking clocks, the whir of a fan, and the faint sound of the refrigerator working to stay cool. I love these times and never feel lonely in the quiet of my own presence. I feel as if I am re-energizing and often feel my spirit surfacing and taking flight in the joy of the freedom that comes from being alone. Sometimes I choose to write….a note, a letter, a short story, a poem. I love to write because it allows my inner language to flow, free of censorship where sometimes it even “speaks” to another persons inner self. Now that is joy!
When in the company of others, one is always subject to their opinions of everything about you. Sometimes, the opinions are very good, but they are still opinions, none the less. For a person such as myself, I prefer to let my spirit roam free without the static and confines and concerns of the worlds’ opinion. I want to be free to express myself without having to defend or explain. Self expression is done with more than mere words. Self expression takes shape in all the choices we make in life….not just in our conversations.
I am certain my childhood contributed to my complete comfort in spending time alone. Our community was very rural and I spent much of my time entertaining myself. I can remember times where I would lay on my back on the woodland floor, in the middle of a warm lazy summer, watching the leaves of the trees floating and dancing in the rays of the sun streaming down, as it illuminated the space all around. Even now, all these years later, I can still bring up the scent of the earth and the sweet musky smell of the decaying leaves where I lay on my back.
I remember very well being laser focused on a good book, which was so interesting to me, I just could not seem to put down, not even to feed my hungry stomach. I also remember going for long walks to unplanned destinations and enjoying the scenery as I went along. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was communing with my creator. I was enjoying his creation and this creation included me!
I enjoy having friends…a few special bright lights who are on a similar journey in life. But I have never needed a lot of them. I do not enjoy being in crowds of people or listening to random opinions about random things. I would far rather sit in the company of a good friend sharing and comparing thoughts and feelings to mingling at any event, no matter how fun or elegant. I have never liked moving around from one person to the next trying to make meaningless conversation with people I don’t care about and who don’t care about me. What is the point?
In any case, time is a precious commodity and we have been given the choice of how and where we decide to spend it. Do we take this time and squander it by staying busy in a meaningless way, or do we cherish every ticking minute, knowing the clock can and will stop ticking at a time unknown to us?
Do not waste time worrying about what other people think of how you spend it. Just LIVE and let live. Someday we will look back and be amazed how quickly our time has gone. I have already reached that conclusion, and so, with the time I have left, I want to spend it doing the things that I did as a child, when I allowed my inner spirit to make the choice for me. I think now I will go sit in the swing and enjoy the beauty of this day I have been gifted….this day that God has allowed me to have. Hello birds! Hello breeze! Hello flowers, and grass, and puffy clouds in a bright blue sky! Hellooooooo!