This is how I remember him……how he will always remain in my heart. My son, my first born child, my first new experience in holding a brand new life in my arms, knowing that his Father and I were responsible for protecting him and nourishing him in the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual sense of things. This miracle I held in my arms was a tiny, wriggly little life form who was totally dependant on us for his very survival.
Then, bit by bit he grew. First he crawled, then he stood on his own two feet, then walked and ran throughout his childhood. Life sped by!
Now he is a grown man with a wife he loves dearly, a newly minted teenage daughter of their own, and a younger 10 year daughter as well. No more babies in this house! He has grown into a strong, tall, handsome, bighearted man, who is ensconced in a solid career, who also enjoys the comforts of his own beautiful home.
He also….has…..GRAY hair! What? My little boy has gray hair???? REALLY? Well, he has a dusting of gray around his temples, and when I look at it, I remember my own Mother commenting when my husband began to turn gray. She said, “Isn’t it nice how Al’s hair is turning gray along his temples?” He looks SO distinguished!
Well, Mom you would also approve of your Grandsons graying hair pattern. Christopher looks distinguished too. He is his fathers son, for sure.
When I am separated from Chris, by time and distance, this picture is how I see him in my minds eye. I see him as a young boy at play, and I always will. He was my first foray into the world of parenting and I was too young to understand the enormity of the task facing me, this Herculean task of raising up and training this brand new human being for what the world had in store for him.
Now as I sit in HIS house on HIS sofa, typing this musing after a good nights sleep in HIS guest bedroom, I find myself sneaking peeks at this tender hearted, family loving, God fearing human being who Al and I created together with Gods hand in it, and I feel proud of who he has become.
I will never be famous. I will never be rich. My name will never be in any history book for having invented a cure for some dread disease. After I die, and as time passes, I will become an obscure photograph in some distant future descendants old family photo album, where this person will say, “this lady is my great, great, great grand……..!” So, I will become great or grand only by my blood ties to the viewer of the picture, and that is o.k. by me.
In the end, the parenting reward comes to us parents when we go to visit our children in their individual lives and we can say “This life choice is good!” A parent is only as happy as their unhappiest child, and we have been blessed with children who are doing well in this world and who are contributing their most talented and positive parts to it.
Al and I won’t be any footnote in any history books, and our children probably won’t be either, but to be able to say that these long ago children are making a difference in the world for the better as they go about living their lives makes us breathe out a long sigh of contentment. Thank you God for giving us this chance at creation and for giving us these assignments. We did the best we could. I feel sure You look at them and nod Your head in approval and so do their parents!