Leaving Facebook behind has felt challenging in this early stage of separation. I miss it the most when I first get up in the morning because my habit had become a daily ritual of reading through the posts while sipping my first cup of coffee. Still now, out of sheer force of habit, I open my iPad and automatically hit the FB icon and then the blank “sign in” screen pops up and glares at me as a reminder that Facebook and I have amicably separated.
Like all separations, it leaves a void to fill. So, I move on to check my emails and am reminded that email, which at one point had replaced snail mail as the “go to” hub of modern day communication, has become a bit of a techie ghost town. When Facebook was created, people moved from email to a different way of communicating, where one could communicate with many people at one time versus one at a time. Like everything else in life, speed was the name of the game…hence “instant” messenger, or “Twitter” where one could say it quickly and briefly and move on. Faster, and ever faster we go!
Despite implementing this new big change in my life, some things came along to encourage me. One came in the form of an email written to “only me” versus writing to fb’s entire friend audience, where my sweet friend from Albuquerque wrote to tell me how much she enjoyed my writings and to share that she understood my need to leave Facebook, because she had taken the same plunge into separation from FB a while back. I was very touched by her taking the time to say so. While I “write”, she takes beautiful, breathtaking photos as a hobby. She is so good at it, she could turn it into a career, but she is very busy making big bucks as a highly successful real estate agent for now, with photo ops on her time off!
There was also an email from an active Facebook cousin and friend who took the time to tell me that she would miss me! I was very surprised and very flattered that she would take the time to tell me so. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy about her! ❤️
Yesterday, my husband handed me a card which he brought in from the mailbox and said “I have something with your name on it!” Seriously? An honest to goodness card for ME? I opened it up and I was greeted by a card with a small water color painting on the front which was comprised of a beautiful swirl of soft pleasing colors. This friend wrote a “snail mail” note to encourage me in my writings, understanding that she and I are kindred spirits in our artistic endeavors. She, by adding color to her life with her paintings and me by adding texture to mine with my writing. Thanks La! I love it!
I think what is so touching about these three instances of reaching out is that in every case it was so unexpected. I think, as human beings, one of our deepest needs is to feel that we matter in this world. I don’t think it is an ego issue, but rather a heart issue. We all want to feel as if we have made something of a difference with our life, no matter how small it may be, and it is especially sweet if someone happens to notice. It is nice to know that we have touched some else’s life and it is especially rewarding when they tell you so.
So, despite this “void” left in my life in the wake of my Facebook separation, I am encouraged. I am very pleased to see that in the case of some, I still exist in their world, and for this, I am very grateful. For my entire life, I have rarely chosen to be a part of a crowd, or part of a pack. I love people, I am very gregarious, but I am always most comfortable with a few select friends. One on one is my favorite way of communicating. Cast of thousands? Not so much! Yet, in a way, Facebook was that cast of thousands! So many “friends” made the friendship soup a little thin on flavor because there was never the time to dig very deep into any relationship.
Please don’t misunderstand me! I am not saying Facebook is a bad thing. Not at all! I loved my relationship with FB for a long, long time and still think of it fondly. This recent separation had much more to do with my inability to pace myself on this site. Will I be missed? Maybe by a few, but when I wonder about this, I think of an analogy my Mother used to share with me about ego and self importance. She said, “if you ever start feeling smug about your importance to others, stick your hand into a pail of water and pull it out. Look for the impression you have left behind and look at how quickly your space has been filled. That, my dear, is how life really is”. She was a positive person by nature, so she wasn’t trying to be negative at all……just realistic. I do believe she was right. One should live with humility and without assumption. This way, the little encouragements we receive in life will appear here and there to give us joy, much like any unexpected, beautifully wrapped gift does.
So, now that I have filled my Facebook time with my writing and my coffee has been consumed it is time to get on with my day! I have extra time on my hands so now I get to decide what to do with it. One thing for sure…..it’s a great day to be aIive in my world! Blessings to you!