If you have nothing nice to say!

I kept thinking about my cousins fb post today and after I read it I decided to comment on what she wrote! She was basically asking people to play fair when talking politics. I agree 100% with her that many American Citizens have left the path of civility when it comes to speaking for which “side” they are on. Like one other of her commenters said, “vote for the PERSON” AND for whatever actions that person brings to the table for the good of America. Do not just vote along a party line! Know WHO you are voting for and know what they believe in and vote accordingly. Mostly, please just VOTE, because there are over a million graves that testify to many peoples belief that a free society was worth dying for!

One thing that has become so outrageous is how we speak and treat each other in the name of politics! This negative communication only creates more division.

Let me create a silly example to point out how behaviors can affect a personal relationship!

Let’s dwindle down the differences in our preferences and opinions on politics to something ridiculously banal. Let’s say that we live together and I love Traditional design and you like Contemporary design. We tell each other how important our “preference” in design is to us, but we realize we need to respect the other persons choice as well. We understand that in order for us to live together in harmony in our home, we each have to give in to the other persons preferences a little bit out of fairness. We seek to appreciate the beauty of the other persons choices as they seek to appreciate some of ours and then we begin to negotiate on how we should proceed! Perhaps we decide that we can each have one room we can design to our own taste. It won’t be easy giving up full authority over how our entire place is decorated, because we really want what we love, but we recognize that we have to live together and get along, so we negotiate how to make it all happen so it will still be a lovely and happy place for both.

Imagine if, because of our differences, we started calling each other bad names because we did not agree with the choice of the other? Imagine if we started using hate speech because of our differences? Imagine if we started destroying rooms in the house to make our voice heard! This would be ridiculous, of course, because we would not only be destroying the place in which we live, we would also be destroying our relationship with each other over our refusal to sit down and discuss our difference of opinion.

As I said, this is a silly example, but the component that is missing in our society is the ability to negotiate between the parties! It goes back to the two political parties who have caused all this upheaval because there is no real negotiating done anymore. The message to “we the people” is that our votes are imperative to an entire party line because we can no longer trust in the ability of the other party to be open and honest to negotiate. No matter which side you support, neither side trusts the other party at all!

We see many of our leaders speak with hate and derision which gives the signal to the American people that we must bully and intimidate to win our point. Hence, “we the people” cease to understand that there was once a time in the not so distant past where we could actually negotiate the finer points of any debate and come to a fair COMPROMISE! Our mentality has become “its my way or the highway!”

I really agree with my cousin that a person should fact check before writing anything on line or speaking. Even then it would be wise to stop and think about whether what they say or write is helpful to anyone! To make fun of someone just makes your point moot! No one is EVER won over by hateful speech or actions, nor ridicule, nor spite, nor lying!

Respect always wins! Respect brings admiration. Self control and dignity with a soft tone always makes everyone want stop to at least hear what that person is saying!

Vote your truth and be satisfied that you have done so and then pray and try to make a difference in this world by only staying with the positive. As my Mother (and probably yours) always said, “If you have nothing nice to say , then say nothing!”

Live your belief in such a way that others want to be a part of your belief system!

8/24/2020/Jjb

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