Adjusting the sails

Good morning everyone! The cold front finally hit Texas, so we woke up in the middle of the night shivering and had to get up to add another blanket! Wow! It reached 80 degrees just 2 days ago and last night I think Al said it dropped to 47. Brrrrrrrr!

Al had one of those nights where he slept until 2 a.m. (about the time we got up to add another blanket) and when we went back to bed, he could not get back to sleep. When I got up this morning, he was tipped back in his recliner snoozing, so I talked him into just going back to bed. These days there is rarely anything on our calendar anyway, so no reason for him not to do so.

I feel I want to address my previous commentary about cooking and baking for our daughter. In hindsight, I see that it sounds rather braggadocio but when I wrote it, I was filled up inside with warm feelings of loving kindness and wanted to express that feeling. I did not mean to say “look at what a great Mom I am!” (because I most certainly am not….just ask the kids…they may vote for average 🤨). I was just having so much fun cooking while imagining her feeling like we were right there in her home every time she reached into the freezer.

Our daughter and husband are what is sometimes called “dinks”…(duo income no kids). She has a wonderful husband who travels with his career. So, for the times when she comes home to only her French Bulldog, I thought it would be nice for her to find “us” there with her through the extension of the food we made for her, stuff she will never make for herself, because as she said, “I just don’t cook that much Mom”. She will make easy things like salads and burgers, but doesn’t mess around with things that may require a recipe. So, these types of foods are embraced and most welcomed by her on occasion.

Life is strange…When I was young, I imagined after we had our children that we would have many grandchildren sitting at our table eating Swedish Pancakes and coming for sleep overs. But, I am reminded of the old phrase “When Man makes plans, God smiles”. The truth is that while we are all busy making plans, life happens, that often bears no resemblance to what we had originally imagined or intended. So, Al and I have just TWO grandchildren and we are GRATEFUL for those two. However, as luck would have it, they live in Minnesota and we live in Texas. Fortunately, we have a good relationship with them and in these days of covid they check in with us by way of texts, calls and emails. They have been raised very well, and are very bright girls. BUT, they are not here. 😢. We do not have the daily, weekly visits that so many of you have with your own grandchildren.

Time passes SO quickly. This fleeting of time has really taken us by surprise! Our older Granddaughter graduates high school this year and the younger one is a Freshman in high school.

So, in the many years Al and I have been married, we keep readjusting our sails upon the sea of life, taking on the headwinds to our dreams and facing the storms that come our way that could easily tip our boat. This latest storm is the Pandemic and it has stolen from us our sense of security, our sense of family, and our sense of purpose. Suddenly, we find ourselves isolated and overly cautious about the decisions we make. Where, once upon a time, I was impulsive and impetuous, I have become very slow to act on things, and where I was once gregarious, I find that I am getting far too comfortable in our little nest viewing the world through our window. It feels safe here and far removed from the craziness the world finds itself in.

The political dialog and the uncivil discourse that we have been subjected to through the news and social media since the Pandemic began has been soul crushing to me because if ever there were a peacemaker, I am the personification of that. I bloom when living in peace and I shrivel when faced with conflict. It all saddens me to the core. There is a spiritual warfare going on in our world and of that I have no doubt! I am making my self ready for the next storm…I am battening down the hatches.

So, just what does a Grandmotherly septugenarian do about all the hatred and discord and evil happening around her, other than to pray and vote and follow the pandemic rules that seem to change daily?

She carries on with her life, trying to create an illusion of peace and love and harmony and “doing unto others as we want them to do unto us”. She writes and she plants and she cooks in her own little orbit and tries to bring happiness to the people she loves. She tries to be grateful for all the things she has been blessed with and ignores the things that did not pan out for her. Time is only well spent when we think of others over ourselves.

So, today is Italian Spaghetti sauce and Quiche day! We have told Andrea she may need to being a couple of coolers down and she laughingly said she may have to buy a new freezer!

To anyone who may think this is about me being a good mama, thank you so much! You really give me too much credit! But I can see that these are YOUR good hearts responding to my project, all you good mothers who sense what this is about. Because, what it REALLY is about is creating a purpose for myself in a purposeless, covid isolated world. What is it they say? If life hands you lemons, make lemonade? That’s it for me.

(OR, maybe I could take those lemons, ZEST them, and make her a birthday dessert)….hmmmmm! Lol!

Love, Me… aka..Julia Child…..(nah, not even close, but this gal is working on it!)

jjb/10/27/2020

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