Author Archives: Busswoman

About Busswoman

I am a woman who has loved the written word all my life. I was an avid reader throughout my childhood and am still hooked on books in my adulthood. Writing has been a hobby for a very long time. Opening a new blog is a new adventure and one I hope will be a positive experience. My goal is to simply have a place to put my thoughts down in an easy format, and if in the process, my words give another person some enjoyment, then it is all the better. In the meantime, I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN! (All rights reserved...content found within may not be used without permission)

No News is Good News

Quite a while ago We eliminated t.v. news from our life by cancelling our t.v. subscription and it was a relief.  I became a headline reader to reduce the stress. That practice helped because I was no longer being drenched in the constant negative news where people were hurling insults at each other rather than having a dignified debate. After a while, even the headlines seemed to seep into my psyche with negative messaging.  

The negative bias was not limited to politics.  I realized after a fashion that most advertising uses fear when trying to sell products.  Pharmacy ads are prolific and costly suggesting we should ask our Dr. for this med or that med…then listing about 100 possible side effects if we use it.

Retirement ads are everywhere asking “Do you have enough to retire?” Well if I don’t know the answer to this, there is someone who will help me figure this out (for a fee). Do I really want to know at this late age?  Where does faith come into these ads?

There are ads out there showing us the latest and the greatest in everything. If we buy into this line of thinking, then pretty soon our cars and houses seem old and small when previously they suited us just fine.  

Oh, and then there are the exercise ads that show buffed, lean, glistening younger (and older) people running down the road in an attempt to tell us we are unfit and unwell if we don’t look this way.

I stopped reading headlines and I have never been happier. I have also stepped back from negative people. I decided to stop reaching out to people who did not reach out to me. I politely declined lunch dates with someone who would always tend to make me feel less at peace upon leaving the lunch than when I first arrived.  

This isn’t to say that we are ostrich’s with our heads in the sand.  What we are saying is that we are taking control of our lives as much as we are able and seeking the goodness and blessings in it.  To those who might fault us for not staying informed, I say we can be informed without subjecting ourselves to a constant onslaught of toxic input.  We will do it from our viewing seats which are now the furthest possible seats from the arena of todays news.

We are both so much happier as we thank God each day FOR each day we are given and for a multitude of blessings.  We also choose to BE a blessing to those around us.

It is Good Friday today, the anniversary of a day when a perfect man’s life was taken from Him because of the negative news of the day spreading in nasty fear filled rumors.  Beware of popular opinion….it is not always correct nor is it always spread around for the good of mankind.

Its a solemn day in the retelling of the story of how badly humans can behave. But it is a good day in showing how God conquers evil.

Church tonight and we are going.  Easter is around the corner. Praise God!

Ups and downs

Don’t you worry about me, I am fine.  My life has been good to me.

There are those in my life who love me lots,  whose love I feel and see.

Sometime I write dreary poems Just to vent the feelings out.

Its my own personal kind of therapy, much better than to cry or shout.

Life brings to each of us challenges, which arrive in the form of a friend,

They come to our lives with a lesson to teach, and then the lesson ends.

I do not write only happy stuff, for that would make me sound unreal.

My life has been blessed in so many ways, but heartaches I have been given to feel..

While it would be so nice to think that we are loved by one and all.

The reality is we are loved by many…but some DO NOT LIKE US AT ALL.

This is fine because the same is true for me and those I know.

There are some who I want to keep real close. There are those who I want to go.









The happy dance

I often wonder if you know

how SMALL you make me feel?

You pretend that I do not exist.

You wish I was not real.

You do not want to be my friend

This was clear from the very start.

No matter how I reached out to you,

I was shunned by your cold, cold heart.

All these years I have tried my best

To be a friend with you my dear.

But now I think I understand,

Its my love you have always feared.

Its really sad but I have given up.

You have what you’ve always craved.

A space that is far and away from me.

Someday you’ll dance upon my grave.


Grandma’s Pancakes

Grandma made pancakes this morning.

They were thin and crisp and light.

She came for a visit and leant me a hand

As I prepared and cooked them just right.

My grand girls cannot eat pancakes.

They are gluten and dairy free.

So, I decided to be my own Grandma

And made pancakes especially for me.

Their aroma brought back memories

Of Grandma’s pancakes, lovingly cooked.

She turned her pancakes with a flip of the wrist.

My tastebuds were entirely hooked.

These days people eat differently

Times have changed and so have we.

People are health and weight conscious.

They do not eat so frivolously.

Over the years, my meals became healthier.

But, I still remember those home cooked meals.

So, as my Granddaughters eat gluten free salad,

I eat pancakes for the love that I feel.

Thanks Grandma Esther and Grandma Annie.

You were each such a wonderful cook.

You taught me how Grandmas expressed their love,

Right out of a recipe book!



A week of reminiscing, reflecting, laughing and crying is over and I am already lonesome, pensive, and feeling a bit adrift. Two long time girlfriends flew in a week ago to spend some quality bonding time and it has been wonderful!

There were the three special girlfriends this past week spending time together along with one very special man who has always been there for us. We officially have dubbed him the 4th “Musketeer”, or the 4th “Amigo” because he is so willing to help it all come together. He was our cook, our chauffeur, our bartender and our very, very good friend (and my love). In my case I get to be his wife and that is like being given the crowned jewel to wear for life.

One of the two women is a friend who came into my life long before I met my husband and who was a bridesmaid in our wedding 46 years ago. My other friend I met when we moved to a new town because of a career change for my husband. We were married by then and had three young children. My husband and her husband became fast friends and we were two perfectly matched pairs who enjoyed spending a lot of time together.

These friendships have endured the test of time. We have witnessed each others lives unfolding as we each walked along our unchartered life paths. We have shared our secrets, our insecurities, our triumphs, our tears, and most especially our failings. Sharing our losses and our painful events became the glue that bonded our friendship together. Acquaintances are often formed at happy events, but bonding friendships occur when we help one another traverse life’s rough patches, and rough patches we have ALL had along the way.

Most of us enjoy sharing our fun times, our achievements, and the highlights of our lives. This is perfectly normal because happiness is such a gift. We want that joy shared and spread around! But there are only a very few with whom we will share the darker, more humbling and more emotionally painful happenings of our lives. I guess our need to appear “perfectly put together” is a defense mechanism to protect us from any kind of perceived criticism.

So, while we all love laughing and celebrating the good things in life, the sharing of our darker moments, our very humbling moments, is relegated to a very, very small trusted few. The operative word, of course, is trust. To find someone with whom to trust our fragile hearts and egos is a rare find indeed. Once found, it is to be cherished because this is no small gift.

I have never been one to mix in larger groups of women. While I am quite talkative, I am not necessarily extroverted, so my nature is much more suited to waiting for that one special friend with whom I can feel safe and happy. God has granted me a few of these women friends and two of them came for a visit this week!

As we spent this week together we attended fun activities, and we laughed until our faces hurt. We also sat up late in the evenings in our pajamas while sharing a few tear producing stories from our lives. There is something cleansing about sharing our imperfections with our friends, who in turn, share theirs too. We become a sisterhood as we reflect back upon our mistakes and realize that while we all look so different on the outside from each other, we are all the same inside. We are delicate and fragile and loving human beings who all just want the same things in life. We want peace and joy and love and harmony and we all have faith these will come to us intermittently along life’s path.

We our similar ages, my friends and I, and we are all weary of trying to be perfect or trying to “fit in” to what society decides we need to be in our looks and behaviors. Old age brings to us many imperfections we cannot hide anymore. We don’t see as well, hear as well, or walk as well as we once did. But, we laugh every bit as heartily as we ever did because we know that where it counts, we haven’t aged a bit. Our inner child is alive and well and ready to go outside and play despite the many adjustments that need to be met.

They have gone home now, these friends of mine, (of ours) who came to visit. The house is very quiet, and now I have time to reflect on the past week. I realize more than ever how valuable time is, especially now when I look ahead and see how much less there is of it for us than the time we have already spent.

My life is not full of an endless roster of friends, but the friends I do have make my life full, and this suits me just fine!


Not a Joiner

I am not a joiner. People who meet me would find this hard to believe because I am friendly and talkative and enjoy spending time with others. But joining a scheduled formal group of people just does not come naturally for me. I don’t really care for group activities.

Yet, I like having friends and have had good friends for most of my life. Give me a cup of coffee and a friend sitting across the table from me and I am in my own kind of heaven.

I have often wondered why I am like this. I come from a very small town and was part of a very large extended family. Fitting in was never a problem because everyone knew everyone else since birth. There was an general acceptance for who and how we were because these traits were just present from the beginning.

Despite having all that family in close proximity, I found that my favorite activities were usually solitary ones. Reading was as important to me as eating was for sustenance. I loved reading biographies of people who lived long ago. I also enjoyed history and fiction. I enjoyed the act of reading so much that if I poured myself a bowl of cereal for breakfast, I would sit and read the box it came in for entertainment. I was happy and comfortable in my own skin.

I was very observant of my surroundings and how things were. The smells, the sounds, the taste of things. I enjoyed looking at all forms of architecture, noticing the smallest details. Without realizing it, these observations allowed for me to become a writer which was also a very fulfilling activity, albeit a solitary one.

I loved going for walks in the woods that surrounded our home, my senses taking in the smell of the dense undergrowth amidst the decaying leaves. I loved laying on my back on the floor of the forest and looking upwards, watching the suns rays being filtered through the leaves of the very tall trees. I enjoyed watching the insects flit around happily in their own little part of the world. I enjoyed listening to the murmuring evergreens as the wind rushed through their branches.

Growing up I had many friendly acquaintances and a few friends. I never felt a need to belong to a group of girls. I appreciated most of the girls I knew but did not like putting myself into a group where I was expected to take on a group approved opinion. One time, as a young girl, I witnessed a group decision that determined that someone was not up to the groups standards, and they decided to shun that person. I dropped out after that.

There always seems to be a pecking order in these gaggle of girls and I never understood the reason for this. Pecking orders within groups are stressful because it seems to put into place a preference of some over others. Nope, this isn’t for me. I have been asked to join many different groups over the years and have tried to be a part of these. Inevitably, I always ended up dropping out for one reason or another.

I can usually find something to like about most everyone I meet. I don’t need someone telling me who to like and who not to like. My opinion counts to me even while it may not matter to you. I like being free to go through life in a way that (MY spirit) guides me!

Those of us who are not joiners are not anti-social beings. Quite the contrary. At least I speak for myself when I say that I thoroughly enjoy socializing with others whom interest me. I just don’t have a need to fill my days with it. I like leaving room in my days to pursue my life long passion of reading, gardening, and writing. It does not take very much to fulfill my need of social activity. Actually it takes very little.

So…to my friends, both new and old, if you are in the mood to commune over a cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea, please feel free to give me a call. I love sharing world views with another person and am open to being shown another persons slant on things. So, you want a little time for one on one? Oh yes, yes indeed! But if you want me to join a group, I love and appreciate you for reaching out, but think I will pass.


No suitcase needed

When we die, we leave exactly how we arrived…empty handed. I remember hearing once that a shroud has no pockets, referring to the fact that “you can’t take it with you, whatever “it” happens to be.”

We have been purging for quite some time now so we are getting down to the things that make us pause before we donate. Our criteria for whether we donate or keep is whether we think our children will want whatever is under consideration. One object under discussion is a small handmade barn full of different sized hand-cut blocks of squares and rectangles. The blocks are building blocks that become whatever the chikds imagination wanted them to be. These belonged to my husband so they are probably around 70 years old.

We have only two grandchildren, both girls, now in their teens. They are well past the age to play with these and even when they were young children they were far more sophisticated and technologically advanced than the original child who played with them. So the question becomes…now what? Someone made them with love and effort for a small child long ago. It feels almost wrong to give them away to strangers, but the truth really is, will a modern child even want it?

Then there is my wedding dress, saved and carefully preserved. It meant so much to me, but when on display for our 40th anniversary, there was no real interest or curiosity about it from our Granddaughters. So I asked my husband, “What should I do with it?” He looked at me and said “Well, for my part, I rented a tux and someone returned it the following day!” I just looked at him while letting that sink in. Hmmmm! So why have I been carefully moving this bridal gown and veil around for 46 years through a multitude of moves? After some thought, I think I will look for a place that takes bridal gowns to be used by women who can’t afford one. My gown was already a vintage look when I purchased it all those years ago, and I imagine someone may like the vintage look today.

Then there are two little puppy blocked quilts that were made for our sons when they were little boys and purchased by their paternal Grandmother. Because they are blue and show little puppies, our Granddaughters never received them because they were boyish.. Besides, our Granddaughters other Grandmother made them a plethora of quilts while she was still alive and I doubt very much these were ever needed or wanted anyway. So, we will look for someone who will enjoy these here and now.

Keepsakes are items that have been kept in memory of the person who first gave it. At most, the memory only lasts a couple of generations and after that it may become a family heirloom but only if the descendants find it desirable. In this day and age of plentitude and excess, it is unlikely that things of the past will capture anyones attention.

I used to really love touring old homes and mansions until one day it came to me that the original owners of the house and property were out lasted by their stuff. No matter how much you have in this life, you cannot take it with you, and even when you leave it behind to specific family, you need to understand that it may not matter to them as much as it has to you.

I am not sure why we are so intent on leaving things behind for our offspring. Maybe it is our way of making peace with the fact of death, as in “Well, I won’t be here anymore, but my stuff will be here as a reminder that I lived and walked this earth. We think a particular item will give them some idea of who we were and what interested us.

But, even if what we leave behind interests the immediate descendants, it isn’t too long before it is just an object from long ago and we are a picture in an old album.

So, with this in mind, we will load up the car and bring these things to places that may find good use for them. In doing so, I feel just fine with saying goodbye to parts of my past. The past is gone anyway, so these mementos may as well be gone too!

It is good enough for me to know that I have been privileged to draw my first and last breath on this earth because God willed that it be so. I have been blessed and loved and have gathered knowledge my entire lifetime. I am NOT my stuff! I am the hugs and kisses I gave to my children so they would learn to pass on the love. I am their first teacher of the difference between right and wromg. Their father and I demonstrated true love between spouses and a faithful marriage so our children would go into their marriages expecting faithfulness too. We taught them about the existence of God and how to communicate with Him through reading the Bible and prayer. We introduced them to Gods son Jesus whose birthday we celebrate every Christmas. We taught them about salvation through faith and grace. We provided for them an education where they would learn to think and contribute positive things to the world. We loved them unconditionally so they would have strength of character in the knowing of their worth..

What we leave behind does not require a suitcase. What we leave behind lives through our children and hopefully also our grandchildren. By not leaving too much “stuff”, the message is that material goods are not that important in the scheme of things. We are leaving bits and pieces of our heart and soul and our intellectual teaching guided by what our own parents and Grandparents taught us. That is what we leave behind. Verses of a hymn their Grandmothers once sang, instructions about how to fish by their grandfather, love of farm life from their other grandfather, how to play cards as a family and bond in the process.

Not gonna need that suitcase for the final trip. The kids won’t need it either. Gosh! It really IS good to travel light isn’t it?


Love is a verb!

Because we felt so negatively impacted by the news, we canceled our television service and opted for a leaf antennae for our local stations. We rarely turn the t.v. on any more unless we are pulling in a movie or watching a DVD of scenic vistas. Radio and music and books have been enough for us. (Well, except, when we first cut the cord, Juanita thought she should at least read the headlines to stay a bit informed, thinking the headlines would not affect me, but I was wrong)

I have noticed that even in headline reading, anxiety will rear its ugly head, because most of it is horribly negative. What I have observed is that the anxiety doesn’t come from any one topic really….it comes from the ongoing onslaught of the ever present, broad based ugly trashing of each other over EVERY. LITTLE. THING! How we look, how we vote, what we wear, how much we weigh, what we drive, where we live, etc., etc,.

Meghan Markles jealous sister is being given a platform in social media because it causes a stir! Me thinks she will never go quietly away. She will harp and harp and harp until the media chooses to NOT print her hate. But of course that will never happen. We have news feeds to fill!

The press is trying to create a fabricated rift between the two royal brothers because loving brothers don’t sell.

We see the press demonizing our First Lady on everything she does, finding fault with her even while she rarely speaks. She is just trying to stay out of the line of fire, yet they constantly harangue about her too trying to provoke a response! When did we come to think it is o.k. trash the First Lady of our country? Why are we being so mean spirited about her when we could be lifting her position up and in the process lift our country up?

Politics? Hate and intolerance abound. Al and I won’t discuss politics anymore. It is just not worth the angst that comes up in any conversation.

I have noticed that even neighborhood news feeds seem to have someone who is always trying to instigate a heated exchange.


During the Second World War, musicals and sweet movies were being mass produced because people needed a place to go to escape the horrors and reality of war and death. I am noticing that the sweeter fantasy type movies are on the rise again in recent times and surmise that this is NOT a coincidence given our ever increasing negative talk taking place everywhere.

I am so happy about the fact that there are other softer choices in movies for those of us who want to circumvent the dark side of life. Personally, we recently reserved tickets to see the newly released movie, “Mary Poppins Returns” and plan to see it with our Grand Daughters while they are visiting. I am so excited about viewing this lovely movie.

Here we are, heading towards the annual celebration of Jesus birth because “God so loved the world”. Faith, hope and love are referenced a lot in the Bible, all while emphasizing that the greatest of the 3 is love. Why does it seem so difficult to love one another? Kindness goes a looooong way in this world.

In a response to my trying to smooth a heated conversation that was taking place between a couple of people within a group, I was told “Oh for Heavens sake Juanita, life isn’t a fairy tale!” In knee jerk fashion, I responded with the comment, “Well it could be if everyone just tried a little harder!”

I still feel this way. Why do we not just try a little harder to make this world a better place? There IS love out there, little beacons of light within the darkness of hate. These little pinpoints of light are proof that it can and does exist. We ALL want to be loved and valued. Rather than look for affirmation for ourselves, we should give affirmation to others. The response is usually the sweetest gift one could receive!

This commentary wrote itself on the heels of reading today’s headlines. I now plan to give myself the Christmas present of “NO MORE NEWS”. I have stacks of good books to read, beautiful music to be played and lovely dvds to be enjoyed. I do not plan on retreating from the world for I know kindness and love and and encouragement is needed out there more than ever. It is easy to find need out there. We do not plan to be self serving, because we know love is a verb!

As for me and my house we WILL serve the Lord!

My Dream

Image result for pictures of bows of boats on an oceanI had a crazy dream last night. 

In my dream we were a young family again and our three children were just adolescents.  I was feeling emotionally devastated because I had just recently been informed of my fatal diagnosis where the treatment required was brutal and painful and would make me very, very sick, with no guarantees of improvement.

I looked online for alternative medicine and found a site that advertised a fleet of boats that were titled “Watery Graves” where anyone who had a terminal illness could make a reservation to be brought out to sea and just dropped in.  It had been listed as a “Cheap Leap” and went on to read that it was the perfect solution to those people who did not want to suffer before they died.

As the dream continued, I told my husband and children about it and they were appalled, but understood my reasoning and were determined to allow me my one last wish. They were all sitting around the room trying to let this sink into their psych, when I told them I was going to go check out the boat.  They were really sad but resigned with what I wanted to  do.

I went to the pier where the boat was docked, and was told that my departure was leaving in a couple of minutes and I had to board the boat or forfeit my entire down payment which had been a large sum of money, so I got on the ship.

There were many passengers, and I managed to find my way to the front bow of the boat. I felt the cold wind whipping against my face, and I could feel my heart drumming against my chest as the boat gained speed and bounced across large waves that had begun to roll and churn in an angry fashion.  I knew this was the last leg of my journey on earth and now I wasn’t so sure I had made the right decision. 

Just then, several trios of porpoises leaped out of the water right in front of the bow of the boat and gracefully reentered the ocean in a perfectly synchronized fashion.  “How beautiful they are” I thought, and then realized they may well be the welcoming committee to heaven.  My heart slowed down a bit as I took in the beauty of the moment and realized that going to heaven was not something to be feared, but embraced.

I felt a hand on my elbow when a soft voice said “It is your time now, come with me”.  This statement filled me with terror and dread because I suddenly realized I wasn’t ready to die right now.   I knew I was going to die because the Dr. had said I was terminal, but I realized that if I took the situation into my own hands, and took my life early, I was really cheating myself and my family of time together.  Besides, what if somehow, miraculously, I would beat the odds?  I didn’t know what was in the future so why should I end my life prematurely?  Sure, there would be pain with treatment, but it was nothing compared to the pain I would inflict on me and my family by doing this.

I turned to the Captain and said, “I have decided I don’t want to do this anymore”.  He smiled and said “this change of heart happens more often than you think.  It is really o.k.  Just go inside until the others have fulfilled their wishes and we will bring you back to shore.”

Then the dream ended and I woke up.  I was quite unnerved by it because it had felt so real.  It felt real and was extremely stressful to think of myself in that situation, yet so many people find themselves being given a diagnosis with an expiration date on the end of it.  These kind of circumstances are very jarring and often require a quick answer from the patient about how to proceed while our brains are still spinning with the unexpected news.  

I think my dream was brought about by one too many reports of yet another friend dying.  As we age the sum totals on the list gets larger, of course, but also as we age, more and more reports come to us at an ever increasing speed, and it is unsettling to say the least.

We have known many people in our lifetime because we have moved so many times. We have met many people through work, school, neighborhoods, kids, promotions and then there are the many extended family members too. Because the number of people we know are many, so too are the amount of passing’s.  When we are young, we are always shocked by someone dying before their time but we do not really relate to it.  However when we are old, we almost feel like we are standing at the entrance to a large dark forest full of monsters.. 

The entrance to the forest represents our entrance to old age and the dark forest represents our fears of what is ahead.  The monsters represent what going to “get us” in the health department to cause us to die someday.  But, also in the forest there is an ever present gleam of sunshine that threads its way down to light our path and that light is God. So we look where the light leads us and follow the path and pray that all will be according to God’s will.

Yet, again, we received word about someone younger than us who has died this past week and we add him to our list while reminding ourselves to not be distracted by the monsters in the woods. We will keep our eye on the lighted path and pray God will stay with us until our time is up. In the meantime, we will let God be in charge of when that will be.



Sometimes I think we humans must resemble pack mules in what we decide to carry around with us, and as the years continue to pass by, the load becomes ever so much more burdensome. So many of us have a very hard time letting go of the things we have collected, from material goods to grudges to memories of people and places we have lived. Our minds tend to multitask in this modern technological world, trying to find order to the many things that demand our attention. I imagine our minds look like an office with computers and file cabinets and storage closets just filled to the brim with things that need our attention or action. Learning to let go is extremely difficult, but once done, it becomes the ultimate GIFT.

We have read the biblical verse that says “Be still….and know that I am God”. It was written as a suggestion to all of us that we are not to be physically or mentally busy every single minute of every single day. My husband used to say that he felt the definition of the devil would have to be the word “busy” because when we are busy, busy, busy…..going and doing…..always in motion, we have no time for contemplation. Very few of us have or allow ourselves spare time to quietly sit in awe of our most Holy God where we can contemplate and give thanks for all He has created and gifted us.

Few of us take the time to quietly ponder the fact that we, you and I, were chosen by God Himself to be brought into this existence. Just think of it! He chose YOU and ME to live this life! This is a powerful statement of affirmation for the times when we wonder about our worth in this life. If God saw the value of “ME” and “YOU” then certainly, who am I to question Him on this?

I firmly believe that our life on earth is an enormous gift to us from our Creator. We are here to learn so many facets of human existence.  We are here to learn and experience firsthand how joy feels, how sadness feels, and how freely given and received love feels. We learn how it feels to experience rejection and physical and emotional pain. We learn about honesty and loyalty and betrayal. We see the sunrises and sunsets and we learn about the vast contrast between light and dark. We experience heat and cold and we feel hunger and satiation. We experience the happiness of being a part of a family and the loneliness that comes from feeling alone due to rejection. I believe that much like when God sent Jesus to earth to walk as a human being among us, He also had a plan for when he created a human being where our spiritual force could take up residence. This earthly life is Gods gift to us to do with as we see fit and he gave us the Bible for guidance.

If one looks at life span statistics, my husband and I are in the early winter of our life. Our lives are winding down and with the exit door not as far off in the distance as it once was, we have felt the need to regroup and rethink our priorities. Time is a very valuable commodity because it is a limited resource. Heaven is eternal but life on earth has an expiration date and we have only so much time. We need to cherish and respect the time we have left not knowing how much there really is going to be of it and use it wisely. While it is good to give to others and serve others, we need to remember that our God given families need us too. Once we have given of ourselves to our families, we can then reach out to serve others.

We have had ups and downs in life…We have had rough patches to get through, and we have had some dark days where We have asked for and received the light of God to show us the way. We haven’t received everything we have wanted in life, but we have been blessed in so many ways We never would have thought of asking for. We can choose to look at the lacks in our life or we can look at the blessings. I, for one, prefer to concentrate on the many blessings.

Do NOT measure your life by anyone else’s life. Our life experience is custom made and uniquely chosen just for us because WE are uniquely made. Follow your instincts, because they are our inner guide as we make choices along our life’s path.

Right now, my husband and I are entering a contemplative period in our life. We are choosing to slow down and take time to reach an awareness we haven’t had in a while because of overfull schedules. We want to step back out of the frenzy and negativity of this modern world and just “BE”. We want to “BE STILL…and KNOW”

When was the last time you were still and reflected on the source of your existence? Maybe the time is now!



God decided it was time to send

another precious soul to earth.

He chose a Mother just for Claire.

He blessed Caroline with her birth.

He smiled down on Christopher.

He knew the great Father he would be

The day Claire was born she cried out loud.

Her parents laughed joyfully!

She was such a beautiful baby girl.

She was a blessing to them every day.

Her parents raised her up to know the Lord.

They taught her to know God’s ways..

They raised her in the Christian faith.

They shared with her Gods Holy Word.

As Claire said her declaration of faith,

They were pleased at what they heard.

The Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost,


One Who creates, One who loves,

One who lives within you and me.

Today she announces her maturity of faith

in a public affirmation.

Today, October 14th, 2018, is

Claire’s Lutheran confirmation.


My Daughters House

We are staying at our daughters house. Everything is clean and neat.

She lit some candles for ambience. The air is fragrant and sweet.

Our bedroom has been attended to. Everything is in its place.

As she sits and visits with Mom and Dad, a smile lights up her face.

Pictures are displayed of those she loves, there are many, many around.

Loved ones peer out from beautiful frames. Evidence of love abounds.

She’s so happy we came for a visit. We chat and laugh and share.

As we listen to her voice and watch her emote, we see how much she cares.

Her husband is a wonderful man, a great family addition.

When they said the words “I do” to each other, it was a very good decision!

It is GOOD to see our son in law and our lovely daughter dear.

We are very glad we took the drive to come up and visit them here.

Jjb/September 2018

Me, Myself and I

I bought myself some flowers today

I was not sure exactly why.

I just decided to buy a bunch,

when I saw them as I passed by.

I have not ever done this before.

We give flowers to the people we love.

But suddenly as I thought of myself,

I was embraced by warmth from above.

It is important for us to show ourselves,

love and kindness and caring.

I love the one who lives inside of myself.

We make such an excellent pairing!

I bought my flowers and then found a vase.

I arranged them til they appealed to me,

I set them out on my old wooden table.

I whispered “this is to me….from me!”

I have always been my own true friend,

I always loved me when I needed it most.

“I love you” was what I said to myself.

Though it’s not something I usually boast.

As I sit here viewing my flowers,

I am feeling extremely blessed

I am so glad I gave me some flowers

To enhance my beloved nest.

I encourage you to begin this new practice,

for the times you are sad or blue.

Go out and buy yourself some flowers.

As a gift from yourself to you!

You will feel the sadness dissipate,

You will feel love growing within your heart.

You will suddenly feel your courage grow,

As you look forward to a brand new start!

Jjb/ 9/9/2018

For better or worse, AUTHENTICALLY ME!

Recently we updated our home for the time when we want to sell and hopefully get a fair price for it. (Could be in 20 years, could be next year…we just don’t know.) But, it was time for refreshing, in any case.) So, we took down all the colorful drapes, exchanged the deep and rich colors for those that are lighter and more sedate. It took me a while to get accustomed to this new lighter look. But it isn’t bland because the old red sofa remains with complimenting red patterned chairs. As it turns out, I still like them. When I say update, I don’t mean replicating things the designers are raving about now because I know it is only a matter of time before the latest and greatest becomes obsolete anyway. I just mean we lightened the walls and windows to appeal to a broader audience.

From as early on in childhood as I can remember, I have always noticed the details of my surroundings whether it was inside or outside. I suppose it is because in the times of my childhood, we were not encouraged to get in the middle of adult conversation, but rather, we were told to “mind our manners and to be quiet.” (Maybe this is why I write and talk so much in my adulthood, having all those pent up words begging to come out!) 😏

Being as it was, I had plenty of time to notice things about other peoples homes and property environments. In my mind, I would choose the things I liked best about their place and imagine them in my future home. As I write this, I KNOW I was very young at the time, and so I KNOW I need to be careful to not underestimate what a child sees or hears or notices. Children are like sponges in the way they absorb things and they have very definite likes and dislikes early on.

So, now, as I look about my home, even in its update, it looks somewhat antiquated, a bit like a house that was put into a time machine from long ago and ended up in the here and now.

I love textiles….just love them! Bedspreads, throws, pillows, curtains, sheers, table toppers and lace. Though we installed plantation shutters 20 years ago, I still have curtains and sheers to soften the look. My kitchen cabinets have been redone to look like they are from another time, long ago. I have cutwork embroidery and loom woven pieces throughout my home. I have old fashioned stained glass, old style ceiling fans and cherry/mahogany furniture pieces. All are considered “faux pas” these days. However, let it be noted that I just do not care how other people do things or what other people think of my surroundings. I know what I like and I surround myself with the same. This makes me happy.

I don’t feel the need to have what is considered “in” within my home, unless it pleases me. For me, having a home that befits my Grandmothers time is delightful. In some ways we live in what some people go to a “Bed and Breakfast” to enjoy. (I even make old fashioned Swedish Pancakes.) 😘 Our home is old timey, old fashioned, and quaint.

When I go online and see new homes being marketed, they look nothing like our home. They are gorgeous, but to me they also look nondescript. I suppose their intended purpose is served in the staging part of things because most anyone could buy any of these homes and walk in with their belongings and it would work.

I often wonder why we all think we should live the same as everyone else? What fun is that? When did we begin to believe that we should all emulate everyone else with our homes, our decorating, our clothes, our cars, our interests, our looks, and on and on. Why are we not “enough” as we are?

Personally, I like going to any friend’s home where she has decorated with her own, unique and individual taste and has allowed her place to feel lived in. I have one friend who is on a very limited retirement budget, and her home is among my favorites to visit. She and her husband have decorated it in a style that tells me a little bit about who they are. Their things are not expensive, but they exude a style that makes me want to sit back and take it all in. Sometimes I imagine myself living there and a smile crosses my face. That’s how much I like HER style. It is not necessarily my style, but has enough endearing and appealing choices to make me think I could just walk in and make myself at home ….and frequently, I do!

Wouldn’t it be awful to go from one persons home to the next and they would all look the same? Now days, the great big mansions have become so commonplace, I find myself preferring the smaller homes because they are cute, inviting, and really, just “enough”. How much does one person need anyway?

My favorite friends are this way too. My friends are all SO different from each other and this is what attracted me to them in the first place. They each have their own style and that style is uniquely theirs. I like that. I don’t want “cookie cutter” friends. Their authentic ways allows me to be authentic too!

Well, enough musing! I think I will go make some homemade soup for dinner tonight. We have lots of yummy things in the refrigerator to throw in to a pot to simmer, and then later on, will consume on this dark rainy day!

Gosh, I sure do love that cutwork table piece my daughter gave me. It looks so cute on the table! Textiles! One of my weaknesses in life! One of my material “loves” in life.


Respecting our Elders

Today is Labor Day and we were invited to come and share a meal with our son and his fiancee along with her parents. Her Mom is 83 and Dad is 97. Her Mom is in very good health and her Dad is too, all things considered at his age.

Our son got up at 4:30 a.m. and began preparations for his grilling and smoking of various meats, baby back ribs among them. Delectable! Fiancee worked hard on the appetizers and setting out beautiful dishes.

As I watched them buzzing around their place, up and down stairs to the grilling spot, pouring champagne, and making a sincere effort to visit with everyone, I felt my heart swell with pride for both of them and that they have found each other.

All of our children have grown up around old fashioned Grandparents. Long ago, they spent time with each of the two sets on their Grandparents turf and learned to weave themselves into the fabric of their Grandparents life. Without doubt, spending time with the older generation really paid off well in forming their characters and growing their hearts.

Their Grandparents, while all having been raised in similar old school ways of living, were also very different from each other which only broadened the children’s understanding of what it means to be old. They soon learned that getting old isn’t something to be afraid of, rather it is a blessing to be enjoyed and sometimes endured. This means the good stuff, the bad stuff and all the stuff in between, and what I mean by “stuff” is just the everyday business of going about life. Not everyone is given a long life and we all age differently, just as each of us is different. So it was with their Grandparents.

One set of Grandparents lived on a farm. Grandpa B wore bib overhauls and plaid shirts. Grandma wore what ever happened to be clean. While at home they didn’t worry about appearances and the freedom that comes with that is liberating! Their farm Grandparents allowed the children to play all around the farm property, and in the many outbuildings available to them. They got to drive the riding lawn mower and the tractor! This is big time stuff for children. They also rode old rusty bikes and scooters they found on the farm and played in the house upstairs in a very large bedroom which had a door in the back to a storage room, both of which were overflowing with castoff clothing, toys, hats, any number of castoff household items.

They learned to enjoy old time German polka music which Grandpa had playing loudly every Sunday afternoon from an old floor model stereo unit with large record discs. Sometimes he and Grandma would take a twirl around the living room to the beat of the music while the children giggled and laughed at them, all while secretly enjoying the vision of their tall Grandpa dancing with their short petite Grandma. The kids would often sit around the big long farm table where Grandpa shared Mackenthun’s smoked summer sausage on home made (sometimes freshly made) white bread with them and where they gobbled down Grandmas “hot dish” which they all savored and enjoyed. Nothing was fancy at the farm, which worked perfectly well for kids because then no one really worried about the children making a mess. If they did make a mess, though, they were told to “clean it up.”

One time, we dropped the children off at the farm for the Grandparents to child-sit while we went to some function, and when we came back, and as we walked into the house, we could hear many laughing voices in the basement. We went down the stairs and saw all the kids shuffling around inside the big, deep unplugged chest freezer with towels on their feet. It turns out that when we dropped them off and sent the kiddos into the house we gave them a 12 pack of coke and told them to put it into the refrigerator downstairs. Well, they misunderstood, or just didn’t know, and put it in the deep freeze. At some point, some time later, all the cans burst open. Poor Grandma had to unload all the food and start cleaning the freezer. Grandpa told her the kids could help since they made the mess in the first place, however innocent it may have been. The kids were having a happy old time dancing and shuffling inside the deep freeze, sopping up all the excess coke.

Their other Grandparents lived in an old 2 story house, in a small town in northern Minnesota. Grandpa J was a fisherman and he liked to wear old loose fitting cloth jumpsuits over his clothes. The kids got to enjoy many trips and hours in his boat on a Canadian lake fishing. They also learned that when they got home from the fishing trip, there was work to do in cleaning out the boat and cleaning the fish, which was their payment for a good time. This Grandpa had also converted an old rusted out refrigerator into a smoker and this was where and how we all learned to enjoy smoked foods.

The kids were taught a card game that Grandpa and Grandma learned and brought back with them from their years of living in Peru. Many wonderful and competitive games of Peruvian Rummy were played by THREE generations at one table. To this day, they all love Peruvian Rummy. The memory of their Grandparents live on through this game.

These same Grandparents would come and stay a couple months at a time while my husband and I traveled over many months for the sake of his career. This was later in their life and was when the children began to realize that Grandpa’s judgment and vision was beginning to diminish. One time, on a trip to take them to school, Grandpa blew through a stop sign to the sound of honking horns, never having seen the sign in the first place. They were all eager to tell us about it when we got back, and it was then we began to figure out other rides to school and other events. Our children learned compassion as they watched what was once a strong, intelligent, confident older man, slowly disappearing into much smaller version of his former self due to a multitude of mini strokes.

There are many, many stories I could recite, but these few should be sufficient in explaining how it was, through these children’s experiences with their Grandparents, where they came to care about and show respect for all old people. We encouraged our children to love their Grandparents and to defer to them because they were the elders in our family. Respect was demonstrated by us for our elders and we expected the same from our children.

So, here we are, given the opportunity to observe our “children” who are now in and approaching middle age, and we see the positive way their Grandparents impacted their lives. As a general way of things, their Grandparents did not knock themselves out to entertain the children. At the same time, I should say the Grandparents did do occasional fun stuff with them, out of the ordinary stuff, that only a Grandpa would think of.

One memory has Grandpa driving a tractor on his farm with one of the little kids on his lap and several other kids biking alongside to “race” them to the end of the very long driveway. He also gave them rides on the riding lawn mower.

Another memory is when the other Grandpa gave them snow skis to wear and then attached a rope to the hitch on the back of his old truck. He pulled them around and through the snowy winter woods, them skiing as if on water skies with a pull rope, but snow skiing instead. All this old fashioned fun was happening on a rarely traveled old logging trail.

The Grandmas served their role well too with the children. These two were very good cooks and bakers who kept the children’s tummies full while their parents were out and away. One Grandma had a piano to play and play it they did. Both Grandma’s were very involved in church life and proudly marched down the aisle of church with their Grandkids in tow anytime they were there in a visit.

All these memories formulated in my mind when we got home tonight and I thought about the blessed fact that ALL of our children have been loved so deeply and well by their elderly Grandparents, and now all the lessons learned from multigenerational love continues to give blessings to other old folks they know along the way…ourselves included.

I have seen each of them in action with older folks and they are always respectful and warm and caring. They treat old people as their equals because once upon a time their older Grandparents did the same with them. They learned many valuable lessons on the farm and so too, in an old two story home in a very small town in Northern Minnesota. The most valuable lessons being that you don’t have to spend money to have fun, eating at home is far more delicious than eating out, hanging out with family teaches us how to negotiate and play fair, friendly competition is learning how to lose or win with grace, how to disagree and learn to agree that we disagree but remain friends and discovering that in any project there is a lot to be learned about the other guy or gal when working together side by side. A family that prays together, a family that plays together, a family who spends days together, in the end STAYS together, and so our family has. We may be separated geographically, but we are all in frequent contact, continuing to pray together, and play together.

I was so proud of my son today as he communicated man to man with this dear 97 year old man. The best part? He didn’t seem to notice the difference of age! I saw 55 years melt off of one as the two of them laughed and shared stories. I am so proud of all our children for the very same reason. Each one of them are very respectful and kind! A mother and father’s joy for sure! Jjb/9/3/2018